一通带来噩耗的电话，

带给我的是，你冷冰冰的手 ...

当生命走到尽头，

我还能如何 ...

Goodbye contract law assignment !!!!

Finally I'm done with the crappy contract law assignment!!!

I don't care how much I can score, I don't care how excellent others did, I don't care how wrong am I, I don't care I have lesser sources than other, I just don't want to care about it anymore.

I AM DONE WITH ANOTHER ASSIGNMENT AGAIN!

I've been staying up late for quite some time, for assignment, for homework, for the massive massive readings.

I procrastinate.

I waste time playing and chit chatting around.

I will try my best to stop and start being hardworking.

I'll get what I deserve one day, definitely.

Good night everyone, sweet dream sleep tight!

Accident.

话说，这可是小女人生中的第一次车祸啊。

I'm done with waiting.

Rio~

Rioooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

I just watched this movie.

With who?

Me, myself, yeah!

Oh sem break!

Urhm, yes I'm currently having a short semester break.

I was thinking to have a trip to elsewhere, or maybe get all my messy notes

in order,

have a little revision during the break or maybe just sleep like nobody's business.

Come on, it's a break and we're supposed to make it as a real break, don't we?

Apparently uni doesn't get what does sem break mean.

Lecturers hope we will enjoy our break yet they gave us loads of work to do.

"You're supposed to complete this during the break." ,

"Please get it done during the break."

BLA BLA BLA.

So what is this break for?

I'd rather still go to uni every day,

with the condition not having all these shitty homeworks.

Anyway, that's out of my control I just need to nag a little to express my anger...

Well, despite the fact that the uni doesn't give a damn on our precious 7-day break,

we will have to make it fun ourselves.

Staying at home with homework is seriously not fun but but but,

what's good about procrastinating?

You can always have some fun while you're pissed or annoyed by the heavy workloads!

For me staying at home alone is absolutely amazing.

I can do whatever I want,

either sing loudly like I'm a super star or lying in the middle of the living room.

Yes I enjoy being alone at home and I enjoy free and easy too much!

So one day when the boredom attacked me, I decided to make myself spaghetti.

It's been a long time since I cooked but luckily spaghetti is really easy to prepare,

I didn't screw anything up and the kitchen is still very fine!

Here's how my spaghetti looks like:

I think it looks very nice, hahahahaha!

How does it taste? Hmmmm, call me and I'll make it for you!

And if you know me enough you'd know that going out is definitely a hobby of mine.

Yes I had an outing with Syazana, a friend that I met at Liverpool.

It was so weird when we met up because that was the first time we met each other in Malaysia, our motherland.

It was fun anyway.

I never thought that I would have a Malay best friend.

She's the one!

And I know, I have to do something with my chubby face.

I'll start soon.

I mean, soon.

p/s: and if you know me enough, you'd know that the soon isn't mean anything!

:)

Talking to friends is the best way to make myself feel better when I'm depressed,

it is my favourite anti-stress method and it always works.

When you can sense my emo-ness, yes, talk to me please.

Thank you for talking to me at this point of time,

while you have to prepare for tests and while you have your own problems to solve.

It means a lot to me, a lot.

And yes, you are a good friend.

《深深凝视》 张曼娟

入山好几天，不是雨就是雾，他们都说这时节不对，

所以我只是走进一座山，并没有看见山的样子。　

就像我只是以为自己恋爱了，却没能使他爱上我。　

但，我是真的倾全部心灵虔诚地爱过他了，而且，

这爱仍未枯竭，永不止息。　

离开这座山，一个转弯，天忽然晴了，

我清楚看见山脉、天空、云朵、河流，

比想象中更壮阔动人。

我深深凝视，像顶礼着贵重的爱情。

其实，他有没有爱过我，一点也不重要。　

Christina Aguilera Bound to You ( Burlesque soundtrack)

Sweet love, sweet love
Trapped in your love
I've opened up, unsure I can trust
My heart and I were buried in dust
Free me, free us

You're all I need when I'm holding you tight
If you walk away I will suffer tonight

I found a man I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can you see that I'm bound in chains
I finally found my way
I am bound to you
I am bound to you

So much, so young
I've faced on my own
Walls I built up became my home
I'm strong and I'm sure there's a fire in us
Sweet love, so pure

I catch my breath with just one beating heart
And I brace myself, please don't tear this apart

I found a man I can trust

And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can't you see that I'm bound in chains
I finally found my way
I am bound to you
I am bound to

Suddenly the moment's here
I embrace my fears
All that I have been carrying all these years
Do I risk it all
Come this far just to fall, fall

Oh, I can trust
And boy, I believe in us
I am terrified to love for the first time
Can you see that I'm bound in chains
And finally found my way
I am bound to you

I am,
Ooh, I am
I'm bound to you

I love this song.

Sunday afternoon, give me a cup of hot chocolate and a book.

我会突然对某些事上瘾。

像是最近，习惯迟睡，

习惯午后一个人在咖啡馆，　

一杯热巧克力，一本书或是一台电脑。　

我喜欢那么自由，那么没有拘束。　

今天天气很阴凉。　

我依然在咖啡馆，还是一杯热巧克力，和张曼娟的《你是我生命的缺口》。　

短短的散文，看了不会让人觉得闷。　

一章几页，一小口热巧克力，再继续。

　

在吵杂的人群中我好像很虚幻，

与人群暂时隔离让我心里很舒服。　

张曼娟说，

如果有个男人为她撑伞，

她肯定会爱上他。　

后来她遇上了这样的一个人，

才知道原来就算有人为她撑伞，

也未必会爱上。

然后我不禁好奇，自己究竟会爱上怎样的人？　

在人群中会牵我的人，我第一个想到；　

然后，我觉得是肩膀很好靠的人；

又或许，是笑容很好看的人。　

沉醉在想象里边，好一段时间。　

后来我又想，

在人群中愿意牵我的人、肩膀很安全的人、笑容很好看的人，

遇上了就一定会爱上吗？　

爱情从来就不是等式。

而我从来不喜欢钻研公式，破解迷题。　　

所以最后我选择热巧克力，

至少在那瞬间它温暖我的肚子。　

BLUE!

I have blue nails!

Friday you're beautiful.

一个很美丽的下午，

沉醉在赶完assignment的愉悦里，

在很香很浓的热巧克力里。　

眼皮很重，睡意很浓。

但舍不得就这样荒废那么晴朗的星期五。　

难得有个靠窗的位子，

难得阳光那么柔和，

难得世界还是那么美丽。　

生活中难得的事很少，

所以今天我是幸运的。　

就算，世界在毁灭边缘，

我还是愿意相信所有的美好，

不管它多微不足道，多不起眼。

我开始懂得享受一个人的时光；　

开始喜欢坐在角落观察世界；

喜欢沉默，

不再介意，你是否懂得我。

　

First assignment, done!

Finally, done with my first assignment at bloody 4 o'clock in the morning,

still have to do some modification and referencing though.

But yes, still a good news, at least I managed to complete it,

at least I am able to vomit 3000 words out,

at least I can pass it up next Monday.

I feel so sick.

Yes, let me fall sick please, give me some sleeping pills I need rest.

I purposely want to stay up later, or earlier because I don't want to let myself to rest more,

hopefully I'm really sick tomorrow.

It means nothing.

Yes,

it doesn't mean anything.

Say it, repeat it, believe it.

I move on.

Yes I have to say that I'm so emotional recently.

I'm not greedy.

When I was in high school, I studied hard and all I wanted is to take back what I deserved.

I stayed up late for Commerce, I wished I could get an A.

I memorized Economics like hell, I wished I could do well.

I kinda gave up maths, I was prepared to fail.

That's what I think, last time and now.

Uni's life is totally distinct.

What I get is not actually what I deserved.

You studied hard, you stayed up late, you memorized a lot but if you applied it wrongly,

you get nothing but a fail.

This is really, depressing and disappointing.

Everyone tells me that law is a hard course.

I used to believe that I can do it well, as long as I work hard consistently.

I never ever ever asked for encouragement desperately but of course,

if you give a 'love', an 'add oil' or even a smiley face,

I'd be very happy and they are all a very great encouragement for me.

It's absolutely fine if you don't even bother to give a damn on me, as I've never asked for it.

But please, don't discourage me.

If you can't bear with me, if you can't stand with my emo-ness, if you can't understand why I care about my failure so much, if you can't comprehend what I'm feeling sad for,

stay away from me, I mean it, stay away from me.

Don't discourage me when I'm not even sure about myself.

Don't make me feel even worse.

Don't make me wasting my time crying my ass off while leaving all my works aside.

I've no time for any other depression.

I just want to be good, aren't you the same?

But why can't you understand me?

Instead, you showed me how shallow you are,

and showed me how much you don't care about me.

Well, it's ok, it's fine.

You aren't born to encourage me anyway.

We're just so different, I got it so I move on.

I know what I want now, what I want myself to be without you.

I want to be happy, without you.

I want to be good, without you.

I want to be everything, and there are all without you.

Thank you, lessons given by you is precious.

I'm not blaming anyone.

It is my fault after all.

I appreciate the mistake I've made, it makes me grow stronger.

Sleep well today.

Read more, think more, for the sake of yourself.

“ 你可以打扮得像草莓般美丽，

可是毅力绝不可以像草莓般脆弱。”

我想我明白了。

我会努力，把本分做好。

之前的失败都是因为没有尽力，我对不起自己。

You're not, anymore.

沉默，

我一直在沉默。　

以为忍一忍，都会过去的。　

总有一天雨过天晴，

然后，守得云开见明月。　

原谅我没有这份能耐。　

对不起我不够坚强。　

是我不对，再找不到什么动力来承受你的摧残。

曾经我心甘情愿，坐上一整天等待，只为那几句客套的话。　

没有后悔那么天真过。

　

只是天真过就好，不想再来一次，够了。

我不是非你不可。

　

I am wondering.

Is it a dream,

or a reality?

I seriously wish it is real.