Friday you're beautiful.

一个很美丽的下午，

沉醉在赶完assignment的愉悦里，

在很香很浓的热巧克力里。　

眼皮很重，睡意很浓。

但舍不得就这样荒废那么晴朗的星期五。　

难得有个靠窗的位子，

难得阳光那么柔和，

难得世界还是那么美丽。　

生活中难得的事很少，

所以今天我是幸运的。　

就算，世界在毁灭边缘，

我还是愿意相信所有的美好，

不管它多微不足道，多不起眼。

我开始懂得享受一个人的时光；　

开始喜欢坐在角落观察世界；

喜欢沉默，

不再介意，你是否懂得我。

　

First assignment, done!

Finally, done with my first assignment at bloody 4 o'clock in the morning,

still have to do some modification and referencing though.

But yes, still a good news, at least I managed to complete it,

at least I am able to vomit 3000 words out,

at least I can pass it up next Monday.

I feel so sick.

Yes, let me fall sick please, give me some sleeping pills I need rest.

I purposely want to stay up later, or earlier because I don't want to let myself to rest more,

hopefully I'm really sick tomorrow.

It means nothing.

Yes,

it doesn't mean anything.

Say it, repeat it, believe it.

I move on.

Yes I have to say that I'm so emotional recently.

I'm not greedy.

When I was in high school, I studied hard and all I wanted is to take back what I deserved.

I stayed up late for Commerce, I wished I could get an A.

I memorized Economics like hell, I wished I could do well.

I kinda gave up maths, I was prepared to fail.

That's what I think, last time and now.

Uni's life is totally distinct.

What I get is not actually what I deserved.

You studied hard, you stayed up late, you memorized a lot but if you applied it wrongly,

you get nothing but a fail.

This is really, depressing and disappointing.

Everyone tells me that law is a hard course.

I used to believe that I can do it well, as long as I work hard consistently.

I never ever ever asked for encouragement desperately but of course,

if you give a 'love', an 'add oil' or even a smiley face,

I'd be very happy and they are all a very great encouragement for me.

It's absolutely fine if you don't even bother to give a damn on me, as I've never asked for it.

But please, don't discourage me.

If you can't bear with me, if you can't stand with my emo-ness, if you can't understand why I care about my failure so much, if you can't comprehend what I'm feeling sad for,

stay away from me, I mean it, stay away from me.

Don't discourage me when I'm not even sure about myself.

Don't make me feel even worse.

Don't make me wasting my time crying my ass off while leaving all my works aside.

I've no time for any other depression.

I just want to be good, aren't you the same?

But why can't you understand me?

Instead, you showed me how shallow you are,

and showed me how much you don't care about me.

Well, it's ok, it's fine.

You aren't born to encourage me anyway.

We're just so different, I got it so I move on.

I know what I want now, what I want myself to be without you.

I want to be happy, without you.

I want to be good, without you.

I want to be everything, and there are all without you.

Thank you, lessons given by you is precious.

I'm not blaming anyone.

It is my fault after all.

I appreciate the mistake I've made, it makes me grow stronger.

Sleep well today.

Read more, think more, for the sake of yourself.

“ 你可以打扮得像草莓般美丽，

可是毅力绝不可以像草莓般脆弱。”

我想我明白了。

我会努力，把本分做好。

之前的失败都是因为没有尽力，我对不起自己。