Thursday, December 22, 2011

Goodbye the past!

Hello everyone,
kindly be informed that I've had a new blog now.

Thank you and have a nice day.

p/s: goodbye the past!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Sunday, December 11, 2011

I'm like a old lady who's undergoing menopause.

Yes, here comes again the unhealthy lifestyle, assignments' fault, not mine.
No pain, no gain. I guess I will just have to work hard and get through all these challenges.
At least my effort has not made me disappointed so far, one down, four more to go.
Hopefully by the end of next week, there will be just three more left, hopefully.

December's been really hectic, it's getting nearer to new year without realising how fast the time has passed. For the sake of assignments, I started to skip class regularly just recently.
Yea, that wasn't a typo, I skip class regularly, and feel guilty while burying myself back to piles and piles of books and notes. Never mind, it's fine to skip class to make myself guiltier, yet happier.

Holiday is around the corner, joy of Christmas is everywhere.
I'm actually very looking forward to Christmas, not only because it is a festive season where I can see all the lovely decorations and Santa Claus and candies etc etc but also because I can finally have another two weeks of holiday. Just not long ago, Syazana told me she will be coming back for Christmas, as how I did last year, just that I didn't leave anymore after that. Anyways, her good news has made me more excited for Christmas. What I'm thinking now is to get my work done as much as possible and play as hard as possible during holiday.

Recently, it seems like a trend for me to keep coming home from uni.
Perhaps because of all the workload I got there has scared me away from staying there, and at this kind of situation home becomes a heaven for me. You know, when you are not so far yet not so near to a stressful place, when you are just in the middle, you feel comfortable.

By the way, classmates actually started planning what are we gonna do after final next year in June! Sounds so interesting isn't it? Will probably have a trip to Taiwan, hopefully we are really going! Travelling around makes me feel really great because I get to explore and escape.

Honestly I don't know what's the purpose of this post but just feel like writing something here as it has been abandoned for quite a long time. Will try to get it more up to date, just try, isn't a promise. Oh, I know I've been acting like a really aggressive woman who's undergoing menopause, I'm sorry I was out of my mind. In fact we really don't have to care for those who do not give a damn on us. It is great that they are doing well, if they are not, touch wood, it's not your concern as well. So just be stranger and act like we never know each other, and treat each other like we don't exist in each other's world. Sound mean? Yea I am. Sometimes it's ok to be selfish instead of selfless, why? Because they don't care what you have done, so be selfish, love yourself more, only love those who love you back, the rest? Fuck off. I don't want these people in my life, I'd rather be alone.

Be selfish and selfless, be mean and kind, be an angel and a devil, laugh at people and turn back on people, all these contrasts, are what I've learnt to protect myself.
Want me to be helpful, be kind to me first.
Want me to smile, smile at me first.
Want me to be bitchy, of course, be a bitch in front of me and I'll pay you in double.

Say whatever you want, but before judging me, put yourself into my shoes first.
You've heard what I have been through, not get through what I have been.
So basically I'm asking you to shut up.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I'm dead.

It's not a good idea to be emotional at this point of time but I'm so sorry that I'm emotional now.
Five assignments, all due in a month, tons of information to be read and digested into my head and words to be coming out from my head, rephrasing those overwhelming information. I don't know, I'm not even sure now whether I can do this or not. It's just too much. I know I've been running away from this but if I don't face it now, I'm gonna be so so so so dead.

And at this point, I just wonder if anyone out there is willing to offer me a help, just like how I did.
Ah I don't think so, they're not studying law, they can't help me, they can just staring at me thinking how pitiful I'm, thinking I should be fine because I look so smart to them.


That's why I always get calls asking me for help, and after that, I'm just a piece of shit, burying myself back to my work and no one calls, not even a thanks. Come on, is it too over to ask for a thank you?

I'm such a pathetic bitch.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011