Another new year.

Ok, everyone says that time flies and I have to admit that it really is.

Here comes 31 of December, the last day of the year so it is time for me to recall what I have done in this year, what should I do next and how to get it started.

I haven't done anything that significantly good. That is why I always think that I do not deserve what I am having now, I just don't deserved it and sometimes I feel incredibly guilty, I don't know why.

Went to the UK to study is the most important incident of mine in this year. My parents cried, grandparents cried, aunts cried, my friends cried and I cried. I don't know why I had the courage to go all by myself until now. Recalling the memory that the first day I arrived, I don't know why and how I got through all these.

I supposed to study hard there but I'm not really studying hard. I get distracted by people easily. My laziness is growing stronger than my stamina and sometimes I will wonder where's the stamina that I used to have. When my mum calls me, asking me if everything is alright, make me feel worse because everything isn't that fine but I have to say "yeah, everything is good." to make her feel better. So sometimes I not really want to talk to her because I feel guilty, deeply.

To be honest, I have been remaining single for quite some time. Sometimes I feel lonely and feel like loving someone and being loved by someone. But my heart had gone death, too hard to have the feeling of love towards people and thus, too hard to be loved. I used to like him, and when I say I like him, I mean it, deeply. One side of love isn't enough and that is why I got hurt, deeply too. But weird, getting hurt doesn't stop me from liking him. Although I've encountered some guys who are quite nice, but I can't fall in love any more. I'd rather be alone. If you ask me how much I like him, I would say I have no idea. If you ask me how can I get rid of him, I would say so too and I know that I'm not going to do that, at least for now. Why do I like him so much? I don't know I just like him, he who smiles like a sun. But yes, if I recall what had happened, the wound is still hurting.

What am I going to do in the brand new year? Good question.

I am going to study harder, try my best to pass the first year. I will have a healthier lifestyle, will attend yoga class from January. I want to know more people, extend my social circle. I want to learn new things, anything. I want to be tougher and stronger, not to cry easily. I want to be happy and cheerful and nice, all the time. I don't want to be an angry person. I want to forgive and forget.

Happy New Year guys, have an awesome one.

你在哪里？

我记得那个美丽的夜晚。

你说，我听。

那不是我们的故事，

却没有打断你，

虽然苦涩的感觉让我想哭。

偶尔，我会想念那一股你快乐所以我快乐的傻气。

其实，

我还是喜欢听你说，

因为你的声音让我觉得安全。

如果你问我有没有谁让我很喜欢，我会说有。

如果你问我懂不懂得他，我说我不懂。

我没有你踏出第一步我就会负责其余九十九步的勇气。

所以不敢妄想童话的爱情。

久了，心比平淡的爱情还淡，所以也不想了。

Happy three days which I have been through.

Had such an amazing days with neighbours just before holidays.

The very first Christmas dinner in my life, dancing on the dance floor with alcohol and music, throwing snowballs on a snowy day and making our own snowman!

Just get the pictures to do the talk:

15/12/2010 (Wednesday) Christmas dinner:

Have been waiting for this dinner for weeks and finally it was here!

The table decorations that day.

Everardo, my secret Santa. That t-shirt is his gift for me. Bazinga, a phrase which means joking from Big Bang Theory.

Yeah! Christmas in the UK.

Playing hide and seek, waiting for the ghost to catch us.

Just got the lantern to the sky, watching it flying higher and higher, wishing that everyone's wishes will come true.

16/12/2010 (Thursday) Dancing & Drinking night:

Last outing of P Block for this semester so I really felt like going. Had a very good time in the pub with them.

James was pretty drunk while three of us were just fine.

With Katie, she's charming.

With London, she was exhausted.

With Everardo, we were wondering what time we can go back.

With Wales, she wrapped herself by a big present bag, how cute!

17/12/2010 (Friday) Snowball fight:

It was snowing heavily for the first time in Liverpool so the snow was thick enough for us to fight by using snowballs. We ran out, playing like a kid. For a while, we stopped thinking of those annoying coursework, tutorial etc etc.

With Sean. The only reason he was there simply because his flight was being cancelled because of the snow. He was still there although he said: fuck the snow.

I love sitting on the snow, they're like cotton, soft and comfortable.

With Rose and Mel.

Tomorrow everyone is going home, nobody will be here any more so I will be all alone but just for one day and I am leaving for home too!

To be honest I didn't work really hard since Wednesday because I think that I have done enough so I decided not to give too much pressure on myself. The first thing I want to do when I go back? Meeting a doctor, talk about the insomnia which I am having now with him.

See you. xxx

OMG, influenza !

Oh my god, I can't believe that I have been through all the freaking boring lectures on Monday! So this is the end, no more Monday classes from now on. Well, just for semester one... Anyway, still, it is a good news.

I am having a flu suddenly. How lucky am I, this comes to me just before the bloody holidays for god's sake!!!!

My neighbours are going out again. Ok fine, please don't get drunk and start screaming on the corridor at 4 in the morning... That's all I wish. Have a good night though.

Gonna watch a film and off to bed. Yay!!!

Again, sleepless night.

Ok fine, I am here again early in the morning. I wanted to sleep but I couldn't help it.

We gathered in the kitchen just now, learning each others' accent and it was bloody funny. I was asked to speak "I am going to Asda to buy some bread." in Mandarin, and everyone was supposed to speak it out. There were six people there just now, each and everyone wanted me to repeat it, so I repeated "我要去Asda买面包" about 12 times... And when it was my turn to learn theirs, I just couldn't stop laughing but I did quite well, hoho! Hi, how's it going, I'm going to Asda to buy some bread but I've got a cold so it makes it worse... HAHAHAHA!!!

Ok I know it is not funny for you guys so I'm going to stop this topic...

Next week is the last week of semester one, I've got no more tutorial! I have been through all my tutorials this week! It's so exciting!!! Walking in the town alone after the tutorial yesterday, bought a Christmas gift for the secret Santa session which will be held in our floor next week, bought myself a little bubblebar to comfort myself as well because I don't know why, I was so depressing after the tutorial. The bubblebar is good though, like it so much, going to buy more in the future. Ah ya, forgot to tell, the bubblebar is something like soap but it is much more better than soap. It smells nice and good to use, lovin' it.

Weather here is getting weirder. Last week was horribly, freaking and bloody cold but this week is all right. I predict that next week will be even colder but I am going back anyway so I've got two weeks to enjoy the warmth.

*omg, I heard someone is in the corridor*

See, I am not the only who is awake, this makes me feel better, haha.

I have done nothing today besides attended two tutorials and one lecture. Ahh, I don't care, just need some time to calm myself down, to find some motivations for the following week.

Good night sweeties.

9 days left and I'll leave.

Yay! After waiting for almost a week, my train ticket is finally here with me!

I can't believe that I am going back in 9 days!

It is just like a dream, that I have been here for 3 months, got some fresh views and ideas 'bout how the world looks like, got to know myself more than the past, got some experiences that I wouldn't get at home and having lessons 'bout what life actually is.

Things are getting harder, I know, there are more to come. But what's easy? Sitting in front of the television, watching film, playing games, listening to music, searching for good food, or sleeping from dawn to dusk? Yar, these are fun but we will get bored and sick of these.

I know I can do it if I want to, whenever I think of how I walked back from Asda to my room with loads of things I just bought. I will never ever forget that...

2 coursework, 1 formative exercise, 2 forthcoming exams and MASSIVE readings, here I come!

Urghh, havin' insomnia again. Can't fall asleep even I had a glass of honey milk just now. Going to take a shower at 1.42 a.m.. Well, I am insane but I have no choice. I need to sleep no matter how....

Say hi again.

So, after disappearing from my life a couple of months, the bloody insomnia which I used to have is visiting me again.

I was lying on my bed from 11p.m.. Now it is bloody 2a.m. and I am still awake!

Stay away from me insomnia! It is not fun spending time with you!!!!!

Feeling sorry.

Looking at my face, I know it's time to stop eating junk food.

I feel sorry for myself.

I AM SORRY.

It's my day!

It starts snowing a little bit more in Liverpool but still, not as much as other places in the UK, so I haven't got the chance to make my own snow man, nor have snow fight with friends. But it's still funny, since this is the first time of mine, walking in a snowing day.

Well, it is freaking cold though. Last few days, I was really planning to stay in the library rather than staying in my room as library is much more warmer! And I will get more of my works done if I stay there... just can't really concentrate in the room sometimes. But now! No more library if it is not necessary! 'Cause I've got a heater here!

*phone was vibrating while I was in the library*

Everardo: I'm in town, do you want a heater?

Me: YAYAYAYAYA!!! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!! *my tears was about to drop*

Well, it costs me £13 but it is worth investing! I mean, look at the weather out there!

I want to turn it on while I'm sleeping, while I'm reading, while I'm watching films, while I'm talking on the phone, while I'm eating, while I'm bathing .... etc etc etc. I just don't want to turn it off!!

Here, he's my husband. I promise I will never ever leave you Mr.heater. (well, it will be voided in the summer of course...)

And another exciting news for me today was ....

I have just bought my train ticket to Manchester Airport on 20 Dec ! Yay!

So now, I have done almost everything to go home. Ah ya, just left 2 coursework to complete (half-way done is acceptable anyway...). But still wish that I could get them done before going back.

Lectures and tutorials are on their way to the end so I wish I could stop lingering around and start working harder and harder and harder, for the sake of my forthcoming quality times in Malaysia.

Ok, I am going to work hard on Criminal Law now. (I have been working on this after dinner and I haven't done it yet, 'cause I went to bar to get a drink, came back and facebook for a while, felt hungry and start eating shortbread for m&s *they are incredibly tasty* ...)

Anyway, just need to finish all the required reading before going to bed so I will be able to answer the tutorial questions tomorrow. Hopefully can start my contract coursework tomorrow evening or night, or maybe start preparing the tutorials for next week 'cause I will be having 3 bloody tutorials again ! ( but after these I'll be fine!)

I wrote the details on a paper and put it up on my notice board and it can remind me the day is coming soon and I will remind myself to keep going, don't give up and complete my works as soon as possible.

I didn't realise that I've written a lot until now, hahaha. Sorry just have a lot to say today. Maybe I am in a very exciting mood.

I have a heater now and I bought the train ticket, today is my day! Love you Wednesday!

Also, I miss him who smiles like a sun. xxx

Lecture is cancelled tomorrow. I enjoy every moment when I stay in my room.

Have a nice day friends!

Hi December!

Last day of the November is here and winter will be officially here tomorrow!

The bloody heater is still not working and I might get one in the future to prevent myself from freezing to death. Winter makes people feel reluctant to wake up and frankly speaking, it makes people don't want to go to toilet so frequently. Why? There are too many layers, it is totally a waste of time, haha.

I have been putting layer and layer on myself, outdoor more, indoor lesser. It has been ages since I wore a t-shirt and short pants, freaking miss it!

Lectures and tutorials are on their way to the end, it means that the holiday is coming and I am going back home! Got to work hard for this and the following week so I can enjoy a little bit more when I'm there!

See ya!