Monday, April 4, 2011

I move on.

Yes I have to say that I'm so emotional recently.

I'm not greedy.
When I was in high school, I studied hard and all I wanted is to take back what I deserved.
I stayed up late for Commerce, I wished I could get an A.
I memorized Economics like hell, I wished I could do well.
I kinda gave up maths, I was prepared to fail.
That's what I think, last time and now.

Uni's life is totally distinct.
What I get is not actually what I deserved.
You studied hard, you stayed up late, you memorized a lot but if you applied it wrongly,
you get nothing but a fail.

This is really, depressing and disappointing.

Everyone tells me that law is a hard course.
I used to believe that I can do it well, as long as I work hard consistently.
I never ever ever asked for encouragement desperately but of course,
if you give a 'love', an 'add oil' or even a smiley face,
I'd be very happy and they are all a very great encouragement for me.
It's absolutely fine if you don't even bother to give a damn on me, as I've never asked for it.
But please, don't discourage me.
If you can't bear with me, if you can't stand with my emo-ness, if you can't understand why I care about my failure so much, if you can't comprehend what I'm feeling sad for,
stay away from me, I mean it, stay away from me.

Don't discourage me when I'm not even sure about myself.
Don't make me feel even worse.
Don't make me wasting my time crying my ass off while leaving all my works aside.

I've no time for any other depression.

I just want to be good, aren't you the same?
But why can't you understand me?
Instead, you showed me how shallow you are,
and showed me how much you don't care about me.

Well, it's ok, it's fine.
You aren't born to encourage me anyway.
We're just so different, I got it so I move on.

I know what I want now, what I want myself to be without you.
I want to be happy, without you.
I want to be good, without you.
I want to be everything, and there are all without you.

Thank you, lessons given by you is precious.

I'm not blaming anyone.
It is my fault after all.
I appreciate the mistake I've made, it makes me grow stronger.

Sleep well today.
Read more, think more, for the sake of yourself.











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