Leave in peace, may I ?

Aunts have been calling me these two days, asked me if I really want to go abroad, could I leave these all behind, would I feel sad to leave ... this kind of questions.

All of their questions made me feel guilty, made me started to think that am I wrong to leave, am I too selfish to do this or perhaps I should stay here longer.

I do feel sad to leave and I will definitely miss here but what's the point of staying here, be the same me as last time, without any improvement?

I've been wasting too much time on people who never give a damn on me and I have spent time to wait for everything to be fine. I'm sick of waiting and do nothing, I want to do something for my own this time.

I'm tired of putting others' priority beyond mine, I want to be selfish in a less harmless way, so I made my choice, I leave.

I didn't hold up a bank to make myself a classy lady, I didn't murder someone I hated so much, I didn't commit suicide when I really feel like dying, I didn't stab people's back who I really wish to...

What's wrong of letting myself to leave?

I know it's selfish, I'm sorry but I am not going to change my mind.

No one knows my feelings when I got an unconditional offer from the university, it's like when you lost something that you wanted so badly and it suddenly appeared when you had given up.

It's a miracle of my life, a great chance for me to learn and I really need it.

I appreciate my aunts and grandparents who had given me a wonderful childhood, I love them but I can only disappoint them now. I am sorry, I really do... I'm going to miss all of you, thanks for loving me all these years. I feel blessed to have all of you in my life.

Well, let's stop the pathetic part of leaving ...

Let me share something about me here. I am just wondering if you guys know what I hate the most.

I hate questions that obviously and seriously over-reacted and I'm annoyed by people who care too much of me because I feel like there's a 24 hour CCTV beside me and I'm not comfortable with that.

So... don't bombard me with questions, I'm easily pissed and to be honest, I feel disgusted ...

Yaya, I'm a weirdo. So don't care about me, ignore me and let me live happily on my own.

I appreciate that~