Are you with me? no more, sorry.

Ok, it's time to confess.

I should understand that everything will change,

so do the people around me.

No matter how close we were, they'll change.

They won't be by my side forever, our life is going on,

without caring how I feel and how hard I tried to let every moment stays longer.

Perhaps I was the one they used to rely on,

tell me everything that happens around them,

share their interest with me,

discuss about every affair in the class,

talk about movies, songs and even share the juicy gossip that we know recently.

These are all past tense, I know that, I just keep refusing to face it.

I always try to deceive myself.

I do really hope that it will be with me as long as possible.

However, I'm the only one who think like this, I think.

That's why I feel sick, sick of every changes around me.

Well, probably most of my friends went to university and

started to have their brand new life.

They've made a lot of friends, indeed.

Their life is undeniably much more interesting than mine.

And I ?

Still the same.

Stay away from public most of the time, there's no one new in my life.

I'm still the little girl lingering around my old classmates.

I'm not saying that I'm fed up with the old.

I just feel like there's no improvement on me,

after almost 8 months from 2009, I'm still the same.

There's something I don't want to lose perhaps,

so I do hope that everything could remain the same.

But do you know what is the saddest part of this?

I've the idea that you've no idea how much you mean to me. And that's all.

I'm not tired. I'm not complaining.

I'm not trying to show you how pity I am.

I'm not going to hate you and I never regret being such a fool.

I did feel a desperate tiredness. I wanted to blame. I wanted to hate.

I never success, though.

I'll just leave it.

Time will make the decision for me which would totally satisfied me.

You might say that I'm emo again today but I'm not,

I do not feel any emo-ness.

These days I feel a bit bizarre.

I stop doing stuff that I used to do everyday and I don't like the change.

I'm timid. I just keep all the emotions by myself and

wish that everything is going to be ok by doing nothing.

To be honest, I don't know what the hell am I thinking.

I don't believe in F.O.R.E.V.E.R. There's no such thing.

It's life, it's fact, it's not a fairy tale.

There's no long long ago, in a faraway land story,

so do the they live happily ever after ending.

Open your bloody eyes and confess to this bloody fact with bloody mood.

I'd better stop here, I'm on the brink of becoming a lunatic.

But I'm sure that I will be just fine, better than the previous me,even the present me.

Good luck, everyone.