Learn to be alone.

I went to bed before 12am last night, didn't awake until 11am.

When I opened up my eyes, I told myself I was definitely going to follow my plan -- go for a movie alone again.

So I made everything quick or I would miss the 1.30pm movie.

Went out with an empty stomach.

"I can have brunch there," I thought.

Indeed, I had my brunch there, with myself.

No, I had a magazine with me.

And I went for a movie, Water for Elephant.

I was the only one, I was in the middle of the empty seats, I was surrounded by them.

Quite fun.

People asked me why did I do that when I could always call for companion.

I told them it is because I'm a freak, so basically just doing what a freak would do.

Sometimes I told them I want to be special, a little bit more braver than others.

The answers are correct in certain extents, not quite right though.

Are you sure that everyone everything around you is permanent?

I don't think so.

We throw our old things at least once in a year, we lost some people around us, we argue with friends occasionally, we break up with our partner.

The person you love deeply might betray you, the person who loves you will leave you, the person who you think is a friend but sometimes you just got it wrong.

What is forever? What will last until I die? I cannot tell any.

So I start having times by my own.

When I am alone, I look at people around me and I can see clearer.

I can see that I have things that they don't and by looking at them I know I should appreciate how lucky I am. Sometimes they have things that I don't, and instead of being jealous, I started to think how am I going to have them, or how to be even better than me while still not having the things they have.

Yes I'm afraid of losing.

Oh, I'm quite release now because I know that I've officially done with something.

What I'm missing is the past, when you were smiling at me like a sun, when we shared everything to each other, when we laughed as if only two of us in this world. I'm not missing you, I miss the feeling of falling in love, the feeling of being naive and smile for no reason, the feeling that how secure I felt when I was beside you. I miss all these, but not you who have changed into a person who don't care about all these anymore. I don't like this person, I miss the previous one who I still like very much. Will fall for a person who makes me in love like how it was, I love the feeling of being in the love river. Love is very simple, when I look at you, when you smile like a sun in my eyes, I'm in love with you.

p/s: I love guys who smile like a sun, won't fall for anyone else.